“Lies and Illusions” released in 2009 can best be described as a crime espionage action thriller drama with a love story subplot. Director Tibor Takacs, cast and crew (especially the prop and special effects people) created an awesome film. I was on the edge of our seats for the entire 1 hour and 33 minutes. “Lies and Illusions” was an unexpected treat. I thought i was going to view a run of the mill crime drama. This movie was better.

“Lies and Illusions” begins with author, Wes Wilson (Christian Slater), first book Finding Love in the 21st Century becoming a best seller. On the night of celebrating Wes Wilson’s writing success, his fiancee, Samantha (Sarah Ann Schultz), agrees to marry him. They are truly in love. As this happy couple are leaving the festivities their lives are drastically altered as they enter the underground parking lot. (FREE Download full move)

Samantha is kidnapped by thugs! Wes Wilson is knocked out, unable to save her. The film progresses showing the authorities searching for Samantha, but are unable to find Samantha, and Samantha’s case becomes an unsolved crime. Wes meets with Samantha’s attorney, Andrew Laughlin (Lochlyn Monro), who informs him that she will be legally dead in one year of the date of being kidnapped; then Wes will have full ownership of the house they shared, access to her bank accounts and safe deposit box, and be given Samantha’s death certificate. That is if Samantha is not found in the interim. Devastated Wes goes through the mourning period and is unable to write.

Wes loses interest in moving forward with his life until (six months later) during an autograph party for his best seller he meets a women’s magazine writer, Nicole (Christa Campbell) who is a fan of his book. Nicole manages to convince the reluctant Wes Wilson to meet with her for an interview. Showing up at Nicole’s apartment for the interview leads to more than an article written about him in a magazine. His new relationship with Nicole blossoms. They are happy together. Wes feels rejuvenated by this second chance for a real solid relationship. Another six months pass and Wes meets with Samantha’s attorney on the one year anniversary of Samantha’s kidnapping. Wes accepts the legal documents and key to Samantha’s safe deposit box.

Attorney Andrew Laughlin explains to Wes that Samantha is now considered legally dead even though her body was never found. The attorney further mentions that Samantha’s social security number and the company she had worked for do not exist. Wes tries to get more information, but the attorney bids him a good life and offers a handshake. As Wes leaves the attorney’s office, a stranger (Wes recognized from the six month ago autograph party) who had wanted the book signed for his girlfriend comes out of a limousine and introduces himself as Issac Kahn (Cuba Gooding Jr.).

Issac informs Wes he is from the company that Samantha worked for and Samantha had stolen investments from the company. Issac invites Wes into his limousine to discuss the company reacquiring the stolen investments. Wes Wilson does not believe Issac Kahn. Wes remembers what the attorney had told him and knows his Samantha would never steal. Wes refuses to cooperate by entering the limousine with Issac. This decision escalates a fast paced chain of events that teaches Wes people are not always what they claim, and forces him into a world full of lies, illusions, smuggling, intrigue, and danger.

Other primary cast (by order listed in the credits): Robert Giardina (Boone, one of Issac Kahn’s men), Al Madrigal (Martin Rivera, Wes Wilson’s Literary Agent), John Casino (Sonny, another Issac Kahn man), and Merrill Yohnka (Joey, an Issac Kahn man).

“Lies and Illusions” is rated R, primarily for the violent action packed adult scenes and adult subject matter. This film is on DVD. Highly recommend; loved how different “Lies and Illusions” was from other movies in its genre! A definite “must see” if Christian Slater or Cuba Gooding Jr. fan! They were fantastic! (FREE Download full move)

By the end of his film Jon Favreau’s Iron Man is a light and fluffy character, a superhero colored in with bright bits of crayon, but he doesn’t start out that way. Ironically it’s early on in the story when Tony Stark, the man inside the bright red suit, is still a carefree playboy and globe-trotting arms merchant that he has the most edge. It’s there that Favreau’s superhero movie works best, as Stark is captured by a group of terrorists known as the Ten Rings (nod to all you Mandarin fans), injured, and forced to work in a dank cave designing weapons.

Left with no choice Stark sets to work making killing machines as they demand, he just doesn’t make the killing machine his captors expect. Robert Downey Jr. is understated and complex as Stark, slaving away in the dust, working in secret for his own freedom under the threat of death, turning his grave injuries into triumph. Favreau seems to know that this early origin story is indeed the best part of his script, since he lingers on it, spending nearly half of his unexpectedly lengthy film on this well staged and acted setup. (FREE Download full movie)

If you’ve seen the trailers then you know that Stark eventually gets out of the cave and you know how he does it. It’s the kind of moment that’s bound to elicit cheers from the audience, and it doesn’t hurt that we know he’s kicking terrorist ass. Once he gets home, Stark sets about re-evaluating his role in selling weapons to the murderers of the world. Deciding he’s had enough of it, he puts his mind to the task of figuring out how to stop it. Tony Stark isn’t just a wealthy arms dealer, he’s beyond brilliant. We believe that this charismatic man, this wealthy inventor with an oversized ego, might really come up with this particular answer. His answer is Iron Man.

It’s there that the movie starts missing beats. We meet Tony Stark’s assistant, the plucky Pepper Potts, played by terribly miscast Gwyneth Paltrow. Their scenes together are agony, and often seem utterly misplaced, as if they belong in an entirely different movie. We meet Stark’s business partner and mentor, Obadiah Stone played by a bald and bearded Jeff Bridges. There’s nothing subtle about Stone, or any of the limply mysterious plot devices surrounding him. You know what he’s up to the minute you see his chrome dome. We meet Stark’s best friend Jim Rhodes, the best character in the film’s supporting cast. His role is limited, but Terrence Howard acquits himself well and leaves us wanting more of Rhodes.

And eventually we meet the movie’s obligatory villain, an uncreative, familiar riff on the notion that every superhero must face his exact opposite and equal. The Hulk must fight the Super Hulk. Superman must fight three Supermen. Iron Man must fight the Super Iron Man. It’s not very creative, and their final fight leaves something to be desired.

The problems are all in the second half of the movie, where Iron Man stops being different and settles for being ordinary and at times even silly. It becomes a well put together, well polished, but very standard, paint by numbers superhero origin story. There are no surprises, and even while it remains immensely entertaining that’s somewhat disappointing after the first half of the film where we sit down and get to know a man who describes himself as a merchant of death. I wanted to see how such an obvious villain becomes a hero, and the answer is apparently that someone simply flips a switch in the script.

Yet I don’t want to sound like I’m down on this movie. Iron Man is a lot of fun, especially for a superhero origin story, since they so often end up going awry. While I wasn’t blown away by the final battle between Iron Man and the film’s baddie, there are other great action sequences. Unlike most superheroes, Iron Man isn’t about stopping petty criminals or stalking city streets. His mission is global, and his big coming out party happens in a dusty Afghanistan village, saving villagers and farmers… where absolutely no one is looking. It’s the best action sequence in the entire film, and the place where you’ll want to cheer, even though there’s no over muscled robot for Iron Man to face off against.

It’s also refreshing to see a superhero flick in which the hero isn’t some angsty teenager or a borderline underwear model. Tony Stark is a mature man, with deep rooted flaws. Unfortunately, Favreau’s movie chooses to ignore most of them when things really get moving. My hope is that with this as a setup, we’ll get more of the screwed up egomaniac lurking inside Tony Stark’s helmet, and maybe even a more worthy, creative villain as well. The film is filled with all sorts of geeky references hinting at things to come. Iron Man is good enough that you’ll look forward to seeing them brought to fruition in whatever sequels drop from this tree. (FREE Download full movie)

Directed by Lynn Shelton and technically written by no one, “Humpday” was shot using a pre-planned central narrative thread and a lot of improvisation. There was no script, and yet, funnily enough, the dialogue and performances are typically a whole lot snappier and truthful than the majority of Hollywood comedies. In a day and age when multimillion-dollar extravaganzas are penned by well-paid committees, only for the finished product to appear so sloppy and desperate it doesn’t seem like a moment’s thought was put into it, here is a warm and usually winning shoestring-budgeted effort that proves money does not equate to real talent.

Falling safely within the mumblecore film movement, “Humpday” is not quite as sharply devised as 2008′s genre-bending “Baghead,” but has the same kind of easy, relatable, slice-of-life allurement. The premise is a catchy one, but it is the interpersonal relationships between friends and lovers and the underlying suggestions of who these people are and why they act the way they do that director Lynn Shelton is more interested in. Thus, while the plotting may catch one’s attention going in—two straight male friends in their early thirties, happily married transportation planner Ben (Mark Duplass) and adventurous vagabond Andrew (Joshua Leonard), drunkenly plan to make an amateur porn film together for the annual Seattle-based Humpfest and then must decide whether to go through with it on the clearer side of morning—it is used as the jumping-off point for a deeper exploration into the varied shades that make up who a person is and what they want out of life. (FREE Download full movie)

“Humpday” opens with a bedroom scene between Ben and wife Anna (Alycia Delmore) that defies expectations to become something startling—an intimate, frank, amusingly honest look at the nighttime back-and-forth between loving yet comfortable partners. As cinematic spectators, we sometimes get so used to the fantasy of onscreen romance that we forget, until we look at our own lives, what it is really like. “Humpday,” as with the recent “Away We Go,” corrects this deficiency, and then segues into the introduction of Andrew, a fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants type who shows up on their doorstep at two o’clock in the morning. As played by Joshua Leonard (1999′s “The Blair Witch Project”), Andrew is an over-caffeinated loose cannon whose abrasiveness, at least at first, threatens to annoy. He eventually simmers down, however, as he starts to self-reflect on his lack of direction and his inability to ever finish anything he starts.

Ben, by comparison, has a job, a home, and a wonderful wife, but also feels as if he is letting too many opportunities and experiences pass him by. In an eye-opening scene that places a newfound perspective on why he is adamant in going through with the porno with Andrew, he tells of a video store clerk he once started to like and then fantasize about—the only same-sex crush he has ever had. Ben is probably not gay, but this story of his past does help to inform why he feels compelled to go through with it. When Anna inevitably finds out about his peculiar plans with Andrew, her initial confrontation with Ben is filled with an outwardly restrained anger and confusion that stings. Later, when she is calmer, the two of them have a much-needed conversation where truths are spoken on both sides and Anna makes a surprisingly selfless gesture. It is a lovely scene—the best in the film—and newcomer Alycia Delmore is extraordinarily natural and sympathetic as the headstrong if vulnerable Anna. Not to be overlooked, Mark Duplass (writer-director of “Baghead”), as Ben, proves to be as assured an actor as he is a filmmaker.

The final act, set in the hotel room where Ben and Andrew have planned to shoot their “art piece,” is drawn out enough that it becomes as uncomfortable for the viewer as it does for the parties involved. As the two of them take slow steps toward consummation—kissing; taking off their clothes; hugging in their boxers—their actions are peppered with accurate stereotypes of the straight male machismo—grunting; playfully pounding on each other; nervous small talk—that are stereotypes for a reason. Do Ben and Andrew do the deed? That will be for the viewer to find out, though it should be said that mild disappointment with the chosen outcome quickly dissipates the more one ponders what director Lynn Shelton is trying to say with her ending. No person, no matter what their sexual orientation is, can choose to be anyone other than themselves. If more people actually faced up to this acknowledgment, societal pressures would lessen and there wouldn’t be so many narrow-minded prejudices to still overcome. While “Humpday” doesn’t add up to a staggering amount, and isn’t always focused—a game of shooting hoops goes on for way too long around the forty-five-minute mark—the film is nonetheless perceptive and thematically viable, so much more astute about bromances than the grossly overrated “I Love You, Man” that it’s not even funny. Only here, it is. (FREE Download full movie)

It’s a tricky situation – Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is a strong entry in the series about the boy wizard, but won’t work as a stand-alone film. No background is provided, so audience members must have seen the previous movies or read the J.K. Rowling books or they’ll be lost. Fortunately, the movie doesn’t assume you’ve read the sixth book — there are no gaps in the story that require the novel to fill.

In case you haven’t read the book, Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) returns to Hogwarts in Half-Blood Prince for his sixth year of study, while Death Eaters terrorize both the magical community and the ordinary Muggle world. Dumbledore (Michael Gambon) trusts Harry with increasingly important tasks in the fight against Voldemort … and Harry is also learning a lot from an old Potions textbook that contains clever notes from someone self-styled the “Half-Blood Prince.” Harry’s best friend Ron (Rupert Grint) is taking lessons in Quidditch, self-confidence, and romance — and why is Hermione (Emma Watson) displeased? Draco lurks in hallways and towers looking pale and conflicted. (FREE Download full movie)

That description makes it sound like I’m recounting a teenage soap opera. To be honest, there’s a lot of teen romance in a movie that’s also about battling the dark forces. The movie takes a more lighthearted attitude than the book in this arena, although Lavender — who has a crush on Ron — is cartoonishly oversensitive. Luna, on the other hand, gets some nice moments without resorting to broad humor. The quieter, smaller relationship scenes generally work better than the comic ones, and I especially liked a scene with Harry and Hermione on the stairs, escaping from a trying party.

Screenwriter Steve Kloves, who has adapted most of the Harry Potter books at this point, has neatly pared down and reshaped the novel to fit in a feature film structure and length. Instead of trying to squeeze all the Hogwarts goodness into 2.5 hours, he has cut whole subplots and minor characters so we can focus on the most important elements of the tale. As a fan of the book, I missed Bill and Fleur, wished Neville had something to do, and was sorry not to see Emma Thompson as Professor Trelawney. The house-elves are also gone, and the politics of the Ministry for Magic — with some of these omissions, it’ll take mighty smart scripting to hit certain plot points in the adaptation of the final book.

Kloves and director David Yates also have included a number of short scenes and visual hints to prepare us for certain characters or to set the mood. Harry’s early scene in a cafe strikes me as a better key to his current feelings and state of mind than the sequence from the book with the Dursleys. The novel’s recurring scenes where the characters read about Death Eater experiences in the paper is replaced by an experience of their own. A quick shot of a “Wanted” poster for Fenrir Greyback provides an introduction to that character for when he appears later.

On the other hand, the film wastes time with Bellatrix Lestrange in Helena Bonham-Carter’s excessively over-the-top performance. Other actors can get away with overdramatizing their character somewhat — Alan Rickman as Snape is addicted to meaningful pauses mid-sentence — but the characters’ warmth or charm wins in the end. Bellatrix is too chaotically crazy to endure for long. Other downsides to the movie include a few wincingly predictable moments — one climactic scene involves a “shock” moment right out of a bad horror movie, and there’s a plummet that looks like it belongs in the Lord of the RIngs films.

Jim Broadbent joins the cast in this film as Professor Slughorn — it’s always delightful to see yet another veteran British character actor appearing in the Harry Potter series. Broadbent’s Slughorn is a little less insinuating and power-hungry than the character in the book, and less rotund than I’d imagined the character, but I have no objection to these improvements.

Fans of the book may feel unhappy that some of their favorite parts are changed or omitted. However, as a movie dependent on earlier films in the series, Half-Blood Prince provides a carefully plotted story with plenty of humor to counterbalance the darker moments. Yates, who also directed Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, has managed to find the best way to tell the Harry Potter stories effectively on film — as a tight suspense film that isn’t too scary for older kids, with a good dose of humor, Young Love, and charm. I’m not going to compare and rank this film up against the others in the series (better than #4, #3 still best) because I haven’t seen some of them in years, but this movie has me looking forward to the final two in the series, and even hoping that some of the seventh book’s flaws will vanish in the movie adaptations. (FREE Download full movie)

Dead Air is narrated by Kenneth Nott, a shock-jock on commercial radio who takes a swollen pride in his contrarian opinions. We first meet him at a drug-fuelled loft party in the East End of London, where everyone, for some reason, starts chucking fruit and furniture off the balcony. Ken’s girlfriend, Jo, does PR for a snotty young British indie band called Addicta; he is also sleeping with a woman called Celia (or “Ceel”), who happens to be married to a dangerous gangster.

You probably wouldn’t like to meet Ken. He is one of those annoying, professionally opinionated people who are never off duty. Large portions of the novel are dedicated to expounding his reactions to the latest topics of media discussion, whether he is on air or just chatting in a pub: gun control (“Guns for nutters only; makes sense”), American imperialism, CCTV cameras, Euroscepticism, the death of Diana (“put on a fucking seatbelt”), all get extended libertarian rants. It is a tribute to Banks’s chatty prose skill that these discussions are largely entertaining, if superficially argued. (FREE Download full movie)

After hundreds of pages of colourfully diversionary drinking, shagging and talking, Banks eventually remembers that he needs a plot, and so Ken does something unutterably stupid with a mobile phone – a narrative device so unconvincingly over-engineered that Ken is forced to spend three entire pages pointing out how incredible it is that someone could do something so moronic. With this the reader can only concur. But this is when the novel’s narrative engine at last rumbles into life, with the brilliantly managed tension of a burglary scene and a final showdown seething with repressed violence.

But what, in the end, are we to make of this hero, who sleeps with his best friend’s wife (and very nearly his daughter), and is spectacularly insulting to all his friends (especially black DJ Ed, orthographically crippled by the author’s cringeworthy attempts to transliterate a south London accent)? Ken is little more than a stereotype of the self-obsessed media male, and yet he is allowed (and this isn’t spoiling much) to ride off happily into the sunset.

What on earth does Celia, a mysterious, beautiful ex-swimwear model with a strange existential philosophy familiar from a Murakami novel, see in him?

Having chosen to write the novel in Ken’s voice, Banks does not stake out any ironic distance between author and narrator, and indeed Ken often slips into the kind of fastidious smart-arsery that is familiar from other Banks voices. (His pillow talk consists of airy asides such as: “Oh, though there is that thing about the French calling it the little death, of course.” It’s the “of course” that makes you want to slap him.)
Perhaps the problem is that Banks has not managed Ken rigorously enough as a dislikable character, so that he is prone to soft maundering such as, “But then when we fuck, and I am lost in her, surrendered to those depths beyond mere flesh…”. Near the end of the novel, when things seem to be about to go very badly wrong, Ken suddenly cares deeply about the world’s starving children, about whom for 380 pages he has not appeared to give a toss.

Despite such inconsistencies, Dead Air is never less than an easy, enjoyable read – but that is part of the problem. Banks is such a naturally gifted storyteller that for some years now he has been coasting on this ability, when he might have become a seriously excellent novelist. Dead Air has the feel of a story hastily cobbled together from a year of headlines, an air of dutiful contemporaneity – references to ice skating in Somerset House, and “crap like Big Brother” – that will date very quickly. Further editing, moreover, could have tightened up the prose, as with this nearly very successful sentence: “Somewhere beyond and beneath the layers of thick, dark curtains, London growled quietly to itself.” The image of London growling is lovely, but the two hesitations before its presentation (do we need both “beyond” and “beneath”, both “thick” and “dark”?) dilute its impact.

Looming over the whole book is the shadow of the al-Qaida attacks of last September: the opening party ends with the news of the World Trade Centre collapse; and the dustjacket portrays a clever visual analogue of the event, with a plane flying over two chimneys of Battersea power station. But the novel does nothing with it; it is merely set-dressing. One of the few direct references – when Ken refers to “the fundamentalist intensity of those who secretly guess they may well be wrong” – just seems spectacularly incorrect, the sort of comfortable liberal solipsism (no one can seriously think differently from the way we do, can they?) that a more sophisticated novel might have tried to anatomies.

In the end the reader might sympathise with Ken’s long-suffering DJ partner, Phil. “Major rethink on format after the events of September the eleventh,” Phil says, referring to a television programme. “What a brilliant excuse that’s turned out to be, for so many things.” Indeed; and not excluding Dead Air itself. (FREE Download full movie)

Borat (2006) is a reactionary movie based on British Comedian Sacha Baron Cohen’s character of the same name from HBO’s Da Ali G Show. Sacha Cohen plays Borat, a reporter for Kazakhstan TV who goes to Amerika to make a documentary, “although Kazakhstan is glorious country, it have a problems: economic, social and Jew. This why Ministry of Information have decide to send me to U.S. and A., greatest country in the world, to learn lessons for Kazakhstan.” In the U$, Borat happens to see a Bay Watch episode; he falls head over heels for Pamela Anderson. The movie is a faux documentary of Borat’s adventures and interviews on the way to California to marry Pamela Anderson by kidnapping her.

In some of the interviews, those in the scenes don’t appear to be actors. They don’t appear to know that the Borat character is an act. Borat’s over-the-top behavior is written off because his behavior conforms to Amerikan expectations of foreigners. Throughout the movie, Borat and his homeland are portrayed to Amerikans as inbred, provincial, poverty stricken, anti-Semitic, misogynist, anti-queer and so on. In the opening scenes a festival called “the running of the Jew” is depicted. In this festival, a persyn wears a large vulture-devil costume and runs a gauntlet chasing money and waving a cleaver. In another scene, Borat refuses to fly across the U$ because he fears that the “Jews repeat their attack of 9-11.” Also, Borat causally remarks that Jews have horns. However, many, if not most, of the scenes are scripted. (FREE Download full movie)

Borat continually jokes to his Amerikan interviewees about raping wimmin, kidnapping them for marriage, buying wimmin and so on. He tells some Amerikan bourgeois feminists, “in Kazakhstan it is illegal for more than five women to meet in one place except in brothel or grave. So what it means this feminism?” Predictably, the Amerikan females leave the interview, offended by Borat’s outrageous statements.

Borat interviews Republican ex-presidential candidate and homophobe Alan Keyes, “a chocolate-faced politician.” Borat plays dumb and Keyes expresses dismay at Borat’s stupidity during the interview. Borat pretends to be shocked when Keyes informs him that people at Pride-fest, who supposedly wanted to use a dildo on Borat were, surprise surprise, actually gay. In another scene, a white-trash cowboy tells Borat that all Arabs, Muslims, and terrorists look alike. This white-trash Amerikan tells Borat he should shave his mustache in order to appear Italian. Borat informs the cowboy that they jail and hang gays in Kazakhstan. The cowboy replies “that is what we are trying to do here” and gives Borat a high-five.

In another scene, Borat says to a rodeo crowd, “We support your war of terror. We support our boys in Iraq. May U.S.A. kill every single terrorist. May George Bush drink the blood of every man, womyn and child in Iraq. May you destroy their countries so that for the next thousand years no single lizard will survive in their dessert.” Borat receives a big cheer from the white-trash rodeo crowd.

Borat does show the ignorant and reactionary ways of white-trash Amerika. However, Borat does this by playing to their stereotypes of the Muslim world. His comedy works because so many Amerikans believe that this is exactly how Muslims and Middle Easterners are — no matter that Kazakhstan is in central Asia and it is unclear if Borat claims to be a Muslim or not. In this way, Borat is like the Steve Martin and Dan Aykroyd “wild and crazy guys” skit from old Saturday Night Live episodes. The imperialists rally females and queers to the war effort by claiming that Amerika is civilizing the Muslim world by bringing sexual liberalism and supposed gender equality. Borat’s stereotypes will only add to the warmonger’s image of a backward Muslim world. Borat is popular among liberal Amerikans because it pokes fun at white trash and foreigners. It is popular among white trash because of its reactionary portrayal of Muslims and foreigners. It is popular among Zionists because it portrays Muslims or Middle Easterners as rabidly anti-Semitic.

Besides being reactionary, the movie’s humor is of a typical scatological variety. Amerikans are so stupid and inane that they are barely able to understand literate comedy. Referring to an anus as a “back pussy,” as Borat does, is bound to get lots of laughs from half-wit Amerikans. Reaction mixed with poop jokes sums up Borat. In the end, Borat’s last laugh is at the expense of the oppressed. (FREE Download full movie)

Blue Seduction (2009) – A middle aged music composer finds himself trapped in the seductive web of a young, sexy vocalist who is looking for her own fifteen seconds of fame… more A middle aged music composer finds himself trapped in the seductive web of a young, sexy vocalist who is looking for her own fifteen seconds of fame. Mikey Taylor, once the very popular lead singer of the hot rock and roll group, THE SAINTS , lived a life of sex, drugs and rock and roll, until he met JOYCE, a real estate broker, now his wife of ten years.

Joyce was instrumental in sobering Mike up through various rehabs, and always supportive, but then the real estate market took a dive, and Mike had to go back to writing songs for a new record album deal with his former partners STANLEY and DICKIE. Mikey, now known as MIKE TAYLOR, is in the Studio waiting to lay down the new tracks, when MATTY MCPHERSON, strikingly young and beautiful, introduces herself as the new demo singer. As she begins to sing, there is an immediate attraction between Mike and Matty, who is not only gorgeous and young, but a brilliant artist.

Matty follows Mike back to his hotel and seduces him, which is reminiscent of his exciting "groupie" rock and roll days. He immediately becomes smitten with the very young and beautiful Matty, but tells himself this affair will pass as soon as the album is finished. The problem is, Mike can not finish the album without Matty, who truly inspires him, but who also leads him back down the road of destruction by encouraging him to relive his days of alcohol, drugs and sex abuse. Matty tells Mike she is his new addiction and convinces him he cannot succeed without her.

As weeks go by, Mike is filled with the expected guilt of a cheating husband, but the more he tries to get away from Matty, the more she tempts him back with a new song she has written. To celebrate, she offers more booze, drugs and erotic sex; taking Mike deeper into the dark side: closer to Matty but further from Joyce.

Mikes friends encourage him to go to the police, citing she is a stalker who is out to destroy him, but when he tries, the police take Matty's side, who convinces the police she is pregnant with Mikes child. To retaliate Matty kidnaps Joyce, and invites Mike to "save Joyce, or succumb to me". Will Mike be able to save Joyce from the evil web of Matty, or succumb to his addiction as he has so many times before with the beautiful Matty? (FREE Download full movie)

In the movie critic handbook (yep, we all get one), there are certain assured signs that a movie is going to tank and tank hard. Sometimes, all it takes is a name over a marquee (Rob Schneider!). In other instances, the format (mindless Movie lampoon) foreshadows the flop sweat. Perhaps the surest indication of some certified crap comes from the studio itself. When they fail to screen a film before it opens, even cancelling pre-planned previews to avoid that deadliest of PR pariahs (bad word of mouth), you know you’re in trouble. After the 90 soulless minutes that make up Mathieu Kassovitz’s Babylon A.D., you’ll never doubt that tome again.

Toorop (Vin Diesel) is a mercenary hired by an old ally, Gorsky (Gerard Depardieu) to transport a young girl named Aurora (Mélanie Thierry) from Eastern Europe to New York City. In the violent, dystopic world which is the future, she needs someone with Toorop’s skills as a smuggler. Along with Sister Rebeka (Michelle Yeoh), the trio must traverse crowded train depots, perilous border checkpoints, a trip aboard an old Soviet sub, and a snowmobile ride across a security drone-policed arctic tundra. Once they arrive in America, Toorop finally discovers the purpose of his mission. Aurora is either carrying a deadly disease… or the new messiah. In either case, the evil High Priestess (Charlotte Rampling) will stop at nothing to get her hands on them.

More inert than argon gas and given over to obvious directorial hissy fits, Babylon A.D. is like a bad dream a cyberpunk once had after watching Find Me Guilty. Featuring the uniformly emotionless Diesel in an array of pale prison tattoos, and a sadly wasted Yeoh as the mandatory voice of reason, this attempted epic by La Haine/Gothikaguide Kassovitz is an unsalvageable, unlikeable mess. It’s never entertaining, not even in an oversized ridiculousness or cheesy schlock sort of way. Instead, it just starts, and then sinks like a stone before limping over the finish line. Recent internet buzz has followed the filmmaker’s abject frustration with the way Fox meddled with his movie. He claims the calamity is all their fault. After seeing the shockingly poor way Kassovitz worked with what he at least had to start with, the studio can shun a decent percentage of the blame.

Casting is crucial to making this kind of material work, and Diesel is no future warrior. Instead, his Toorop often comes across like a bouncer after a particularly bad night. Unable to register even the smallest amount of complexity, the bulbous badass singlehandedly sucks the life out of every scene he is in — included the anemic action. Thierry is even worse. As the plot’s potential Mary (Typhoid or Virgin), she’s a whiny, wounded little brat. When we’re introduced to her, she’s supposed to be wide-eyed and innocent. By the end, she’s so smug and self-righteous we can’t wait for her moment of martyrdom. In between tantrums aimed at showing how salient she is, Kassovitz treats her like a prop — necessary for the narrative but lacking any reason for empathy or concern.

Visually, Babylon A.D. borrows from the post-post-modern end of the world look. That means that skyscrapers are dressed up in silly CGI neon, while the Czech Republic is made to look even blander and more bombed out. There is no rhyme or reason to this version of the world, Kassovitz complaining that suit-mandated cuts cleared out all his carefully planned context. After viewing this truncated take however, there aren’t enough cutting room scraps to reconfigure the resulting apocalypse. All excuses aside, this is one time when audiences will wish the world ended sooner. A lot sooner. (FREE Download full movie)